Where Exactly Did I Lose Control?
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
Is there something that you knew you were great at? When I was younger, I was great at video game hockey. In fact, I was the best player on the block, and it was not often someone would get the best of me elsewhere. There were plenty of times where someone thought they had a win only to end up on the short end of the stick. It’s funny because it was not my victories that I often remembered. It was the losses that stuck out in my mind. One in particular I never forgot because it was a best of seven series against my best friend where I won the first three games only to lose the next four and the series. It begs the question of what happened where I was doing so well only to fail miserably. Where exactly did I lose control?
Just as I questioned my control in that game, many of us find ourselves asking the same question in life. Everything is going well, and then suddenly, it all falls apart. We wonder, “Where did we lose control?” Work seems to be advancing well, and home life is peaceful and calm. All things seemed in alignment. However, at some point, it all seems to go awry. Work life has become challenging or a constant strain, and relationships at home and other places do not seem to connect as they did. Even the things that we previously enjoyed did not seem to make you happy. And yes, even church life lacked the passion and enthusiasm that it used to. Perhaps, this was just one of those seasons of life is what we would tell ourselves. After all, God is my foundation, and certainly as I have read and it has been proven time and time again, He is enough. That sounds good and dandy, until at some point, it feels like He is not enough. That was me. Like that seven-game series in my childhood, I began to ask the question again. Where exactly did I lose control? That is when I realized the problem was not that God was not enough. Instead, it was me trying to be Him. It was forgetting He is the source of my contentment and not the world that I created for myself.
Remember who God is prevents us from losing control. In today’s verses, it speaks to how someone who is content with God responds to trouble and turmoil. When we are playing God in our life, we begin panic, worry, and feel anxiety about what is next to come. Those are the things that come to mind, and we often fall victim to those instincts. If our relationship with God is foundationally sound, we lean on him much like verses later in Philippians 4 that say, “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” (4:19) Someone told me about the difference between a good marriage and one that ends in divorce. A couple in a good marriage fights just as much if not more than one that ends in divorce. The difference is that a good marriage has a foundation of love where it is the priority. The marriages that end in divorce focus inwardly at themselves. If our relationship with God is based on a loving foundation, we can go to him with open arms praying to Him in all circumstances, both good and bad. We trust in Him, and with that comes the promise in the book of Isaiah that says:
You will keep in perfect peace
all who trust in you,
all whose thoughts are fixed on you!
Trust in the Lord always,
for the Lord God is the eternal Rock. (Isaiah 26:3-4)
Remember that God is always a place of refuge amidst all of the calamity. Yes, it is important that we utilize those gifts that are God-given to deal with adversity. Yet, we must also realize our relationship with God is about our dependency on Him for all our needs. Let us remember the words of Paul, “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13) How can the words of Paul teach us about who to rely on? What areas of our life our we not dependent on God enough? My prayer is that remember that God is always in control and stop asking the fatal question, “Where exactly did I lose control?” Amen.