Paying The Cost
Accept other believers who are weak in faith, and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong. For instance, one person believes it’s all right to eat anything. But another believer with a sensitive conscience will eat only vegetables. Those who feel free to eat anything must not look down on those who don’t. And those who don’t eat certain foods must not condemn those who do, for God has accepted them. Who are you to condemn someone else’s servants? Their own master will judge whether they stand or fall. And with the Lord’s help, they will stand and receive his approval. Romans 14:1-4
We live in a world of differing tastes. For example, many people have heard the Burger King commercial where its tagline is, “At BK, have it your way. You rule!” For those of you who are not aware of the commercial, forgive me. I have at least three grandchildren reciting this for me at various times of the week. However, the point they make is that you can have your burger in numerous kinds of ways. We all insist on having it our way. And why not? You paid for it, right? To go a step further, I grew up with a mom whose one of her favorite taglines was, “You pay the cost to be the boss.” It was her subtle way of telling me until I paid my own way, she gets the last say. So, when I got to pay for everything, I was certain that it would be just as my mom said. Then, Loretta came into the picture and …
While we acknowledge these differing tastes, we struggle with finding common ground outside of our food palate. What do we do when we have a clash of ideas? Yes, some of us take the ‘win at all costs’ approach, and sometimes that can work. However, if you are the bull in the China shop, you end up losing a lot more than necessary just to get your way. On the other side, if you are always conceding, you will end up living a life that is never satisfying. You might think the right word to use is ‘compromise,’ right? What if it is a core principle that you may have to give up? No one wants to do that. Do we just go to our corner and cry like an immature child? In building a case that society needs to be more mature, David Brooks, a columnist, recently wrote:
The instability of the self has created an immature public culture — impulsive, dramatic, erratic and cruel. In institution after institution, from churches to schools to nonprofits, the least mature voices dominate and hurl accusations, while the most mature lie low, trying to get through the day.
So, what is the best thing to do? The answer lies in our maturity and to be more specific spiritual maturity. Brooks quoted a Mormon leader who said, “[O]ne of the greatest indicators of our own spiritual maturity is revealed in how we respond to the weaknesses, the inexperience and the potentially offensive actions of others.” The answer is to respond with both empathy and understanding. From there, common ground can be found for both sides. It allows us to respect each other’s humanity without compromising principles.
Having grounding in Christ allows for us to put our own wants aside for His. We often get into conversations where we are debating people telling us who we are as Christians. Additionally, at times we as Christians are divided. Reading Romans 14 gave me a brand-new light on dealing with differences. We will often debate people claiming our views are right. However, what we see as ‘right’ may in reality just be different. As today’s verses outline, my having the ability to do things based on my faith does not mean I should look down on one who does not. We have become primarily a poultry family because my wife cannot eat beef. It is a source of joy for me to make dinner for her because she is happy that I do so specifically with her in mind. She too will make salmon just because she knows I enjoy it even though she hates seafood. But what if we applied this type of compromising to something more challenging like spending? Should we donate more money to needy children or purchase a vehicle we worked for? Furthermore, what if we bought a new car and gave the older one to a person in need? My wife and I will often debate about money affairs, but we trust each other’s intent. Furthermore, we trust others to make similar decisions in their relationship with God. This speaks to the part about our not judging those where “God has accepted them.” This does not mean to turn a blind eye to sin as Jesus points out in Matthew 18:15, but you see, our goal is not to be right. Our goal is to be righteous in Christ, and with that as the standard, we can be confident in our standing with Him.
Spiritual maturity is essential in our journey of faith. Paul, speaking of spiritual growth, said, “Solid food is for those who are mature, who through training have the skill to recognize the difference between right and wrong.” (Hebrews 5:14) This might lead one to believe we are in position to correct others because we as Christians know right from wrong. Yet just as black and white make grey, we should be able to discern when something is simply different and not a battle between right and wrong. The only way to know for sure is for us to take time out understanding where others are coming from. That’s what spiritual maturity is all about. Let us exercise it. Where can you grow in your ability to understand others who see things differently from you? How can your grounding in Christ expand your reach to others? My prayer is that in our future debates, we become more empathetic and understanding because after all, He paid the cost. Amen.