Deal With It
Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt.
“But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.
“But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment.
“His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.
“When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ Matthew18:23-33
As I recently dropped my wife off at work, I found myself reflecting on some important life lessons, particularly the concept of forgiveness. Forgiveness has always come somewhat easily to me, perhaps because I have experienced the grace of being forgiven by others for my own mistakes. This understanding allows me to extend the same forgiveness to those who have wronged me. However, I believe that God often tests our resolve to ensure that our forgiveness is genuine. The true challenge arises when we are deeply hurt by others. This is when we must confront whether our forgiveness is sincere and heartfelt. Forgiveness is more than just saying I’m sorry. It takes heart. It is hard to forgive when your heart is aching. Yet, I remind myself that forgiveness is not bound by time. It is possible to acknowledge the pain and the ongoing healing process while still offering grace to those who have wronged us. It is wise to be honest about one’s own spiritual struggle while still pushing to manage the pain you are feeling. That is a positive way of dealing with it.
To truly understand God's grace, we must be willing not only to accept forgiveness but also to extend it to others. In listening to a sermon, I got caught up on why many struggle with forgiveness while others seem to forgive easily. Before exploring into this topic further, I want to clarify something important. Forgiving others does not mean putting yourself in position to be hurt by them again. In fact, that is simply not a wise thing to do. Instead, it is about releasing the pain caused by someone else, much like God forgives us. This sounds odd for two reasons.
First, we tend not to think of the pain we cause God when we sin because we do not always feel God’s presence directly. It is not as if He taps us on the shoulder and we look physically eye to eye in admission of our guilt. However, many of us have that relationship with God where we actually feel His presence deeply, and if so, we probably have a growing and healthy relationship with Him.
The other aspect revolves around how we feel when we feel wronged. We experience a sense of imbalance, unfairness, and injustice. We seek accountability, and want justice, reconciliation, or for those who caused us harm to experience similar level of suffering. However, Jesus points out a unique perspective in His teachings and parables. It shows the great mercy God gives to us and how we often fall short of that standard. Our struggle lies in our inability to release the pain and suffering we endure. This is reflected in Jesus’ teaching from the Sermon on the Mount, where He says, “You have heard the law that says the punishment must match the injury: ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say, do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also.” (Matthew 5:38-39). From the sermon I listened to, a profound statement was, “Our capacity to forgive flows from what we’ve been forgiven.” Here is another way to look at it. If our Heavenly Father has forgiven us so abundantly, how can we not learn to forgive others in return? While it may require a level of spiritual growth, it is not optional.
Having the heart to forgive is not doubt a challenge. As we reflect on the topic of forgiveness, remember that it is both a gift and a calling. Forgiveness is not merely an act of letting go; it is a testament to the grace we have received and a reflection of the love we are called to share. In the moments when our hearts are heavy and the pain seems insurmountable, may we find solace in the knowledge that we are not alone. God walks with us, offering His boundless mercy and strength to forgive as we have been forgiven. Let us follow the spirit of Lord’s Prayer that says, “Forgive us of our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Where do you struggle to forgive? How can God’s grace given to you be a gift to others in need of it? My prayer is that we find true forgiveness in our heart and not just deal with it. Amen.