From Hate to Love

 “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy.  But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!  In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike.  If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much.  If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that.  But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.”  Matthew 5:43-48

It is incredibly rare that we can say that we hate someone, but we might have a feeling about someone.  What tends to happen is it grows from our own doing.  This comes from something I learned at work when dealing with tough conversations.  There is the concept called ‘telling yourself your own story.’  Here is how it works.  You see Phillip come to work late 15 minutes or so.  This is probably the 4th or 5th time you have seen him come in late in the past couple of weeks.  I do not see anything happening to Phillip from our boss, so I begin to fill in a narrative about Phillip.  “Why can’t Phillip make it to work on time like everyone else?  I work hard, and I arrive early for work every day.”  Soon enough, I begin to resent Phillip.  By the 7th time, I have seen enough, and am ready to take on the situation.  So, I decided to confront him while passing by him in the hall.  “Hey Phil,” I remark possibly even slightly blocking his path.  “We all get here on time around here.  Why are you coming in late,” I ask judgingly.  Phil, looking surprised, responds innocently, “You don’t know?”  I give that puzzled look that we tend to give when we think we know but really do not.  “Uh, know what,” I ask.  “My wife had a car accident, and I have had to give her a ride to work since late last month,” he answered.  He finishes the story.  “I told our boss that I might need to take time off to give her a ride.  She said there was no need for that, and it was okay for me to arrive late for work if it was not too late.  I was willing to work extra after hours to make up the time, and she told me not to worry about it.  Just make sure I was up to date on my work.”

I mention this because over the years, I have had those stories in my head about coworkers and even my children.  My mind would go to the ‘they must be trying to get away with something’ rather than the ‘they might need my help with something.’  We all tell ourselves our own story, but the key thing we must learn to do is be willing to have a more loving perspective by showing positive intent as we would with someone near and dear to us.  Are there people that will take advantage of the situation? A few, but most people will not only appreciate the act of kindness and grace but also be more willing to show it to others.  That is how you move from ‘hate’ to ‘love.’

Jesus emphasized love for enemies to help construct a kingdom built on unity and not division.  We are all familiar with the level of partisanship in politics, but it goes beyond that.  There is division on race, gender, and even within family.  Over the years, I have learned something about people.  It becomes near impossible to hate someone that you have gotten to know.  Now, I am sure there are people who have gotten under your skin, and it may be justified that you create distance from them not only for their safety but also your own.  However, in today’s verses, Jesus speaks of a relationship that goes beyond distance.  It requires a deeper understanding of love for our neighbor, which is part of the Greatest Commandment.  In a prior verse, Jesus said, “But I say, do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also.” (Matthew 5:39) Now this is often interpreted to mean to let someone punch you again after they hit you the first time.  That is not the intent.  It is more to prepare the heart to forgive others of transgressions.  But if you think it is literal, prepare to see your optometrist after reading Matthew 18:9 😉

God wants your heart first.  Yes, things like wisdom and discernment are important parts of our journey of faith as well, but while the head gives us guidance, the heart gives the strength to endure.  Abraham picked a knife to sacrifice his son, but while many would say it is because his obedience (head) was to follow the Lord, his love for God (heart) superseded all things.  Let us challenge ourselves to understand where our bitterness comes from to avoid it from growing.  Where does bitterness lie in your heart?  What questions can you ask yourself when you ‘tell your own story?’  My prayer is that we look at our hearts to ensure we move from ‘hate’ to ‘love.’  Amen